almost a year later

I wrote this blog almost a year ago,
"I got home from Miami yesterday and it was a good break that I really needed. In reality, i dont like Miami that much as a city but I do love it for having Jose there and bringing me to my senses. I started to lose hope in myself. For the past month, I have been thinking of dropping out at UL, go to Aveda instead, and move back to New Orleans. But Miami gave me numerous hours of thinking about my life. I figured out if I quit now, what would I do in the future??? Would i really work? Would i really be happy being a skin specialist... Then i realized how i used to be when i was 7 years old. I was sooo determined to graduate high school and college, to learn more of my family, to make life long friends, to become a vet,ballerina, or entrepreneur...Now that I'm thinking about, I even read alot of entrepreneurship books back then and I was only 7. What happened?? I mean dont get me wrong..im still determined but the motivation isnt there. Music is my only outlet. It gets me into a deep thought and takes me somewhere I have never been. Miami Miami Miami, weirdly motivated me... I bought 4 books on entrepreneurship and self improvement- Two things i want/need in my life....I decided to keep my life long goals and to really make it happen. I may not want to grow up yet, but I will have to one day and when that happens I want to be prepared. I realized I need to make a name for myself, I need to make money in my lifetime and be happy bc my parents will not always be there... I figured out that I will stop fooling around in school- meaning I will study more, go to class more often, still have fun, and graduate. Secondly, I figured I want to have my own boutique by the time I am 25. I will also invest my money into a stock so it will build over time and i would have some cash to back me up in the future. And lastly, move away or on and start over- L.A., New York, Austin, another country, or in New Orleans. Its sad but true, i have people in my life who dont beleive I can do it bc they dont know me. They think I'm this spoiled party girl who will live off her parents for the rest of her life and will not acheive or amount to anything. I need time to think about where i want to go and im very appreciative of my parents. Im not stupid. I know i cant mooch on them forever. That is why I am actually in college trying to make something of myself. Im determined to have the life Ive always wanted. Im living out my childhood dreams that has stuck with me for 18 years. And Im thanking Miami for that much needed motivation. Im scared of failure, especially if my parents sees it. Im a perfectionist, yes, and im glad that part of my personality will keep me on my feet to do better than what im doing now. My life could be better. Next semester will encourage me to change. I am going to be working on campus and maybe at hooters(whatev, they have benefits to get me through college) or retail stores later on in the semester. I am going to take the classes needed, so i can graduate on time. Im going to get my puppy despite my parents opinion of them( another childhood wish). Im going to invest my money into something good. Im going to study abroad in Italy. Im going to live somewhere else for a while to open up my eyes a bit. Im changing and im working along with it. Im figuring out exactly who i am....I am stubborn, i worry about me alot- and to me thats a good thing..im made to be an independent owner of a retail store...I like things my way. I like my visions brought to life. Success and Perfection are mains goal in my life."


Hmmm...not alot has changed except for the fact I dont know why I wanted to work at skanky Hooters.But what did change is that, I am in fact moving to new york next year. I am still wanting to study abroad for a semester but instead of Italy, London. My partying ways has calmed down. I did change that semester. I was taking 17 hours and I passed all classes with decent grades and I hardly missed. I have also let go of some of my stubborn ways. Its strange how you have changed in a year and can still feel the same way.